


don't say i didn't warn ya

by peachsneakers



Category: Sanders Sides (Web Series)
Genre: Angst with a Happy Ending, Hurt/Comfort, M/M, Morally Neutral Deceit Sanders, Remus typical stuff, Suicidal Thoughts, Suicide Attempt, Sympathetic Dark Creativity | Remus "The Duke" Sanders, Sympathetic Deceit Sanders
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-11-12
Updated: 2019-11-25
Packaged: 2021-01-29 17:16:30
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 7
Words: 5,946
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/21413779
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/peachsneakers/pseuds/peachsneakers
Summary: They wanted a villain, didn't they?
Relationships: Dark Creativity | Remus "The Duke" Sanders/Deceit Sanders
Comments: 138
Kudos: 500





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> song lyrics from billie eilish "bury a friend"
> 
> this is gonna be short but idk how short yet

_What do you want from me? Why don't you run from me?_   
_What are you wondering? What do you know?_   
_Why aren't you scared of me? Why do you care for me?_   
_When we all fall asleep, where do we go?_

Deceit slams his bedroom door behind him, only barely resisting the urge to scream. That had been an unparalleled disaster. No matter what Logan claims, he knows the truth. They _are_ impossible, and he's- 

He's _done_.

"Rough day at work, sweetie?" Remus asks, popping out of nowhere and massaging Deceit's shoulders. Deceit unconsciously relaxes into the touch, a soft sigh escaping.

"You aren't a fifties housewife, Remus," Deceit says. "But yes. Yes, you could say that."

"You know, I could always come up there," Remus suggests, wiggling his shoulders and giving Deceit a salacious look. "Can you imagine the look on Morality's face? Ooh! Or on my _dear_ brother's? Or Virgey's?"

"Virgil refuses to be honest with himself, but there's nothing new there," Deceit says, stripping off his gloves and letting them drop carelessly on the edge of the bed. "But you..." He eyes his boyfriend, considering. "You're nothing _but_ honest, are you, darling..."

"What's the point of lying?" Remus asks. "That's _your_ job, Snake-a-licious." Deceit groans.

"That was terrible," he says. "Thomas wants to be an _honest_ person. Did you know that?" Remus grins, a manic light glittering in glazed green eyes.

"Oh, I can _do_ honest," he says. "Honest as the baby birds falling out of the trees and splattering on the ground like a carton of rotten eggs!" Deceit internally winces at the mental picture Remus has managed to paint.

"He doesn't want to deceive himself, does he?" Deceit indicates himself. "Oh no, there's no _place_ for someone like _me. _But _you_..."

"Dee Dee, you and I both know they'd rather a dead rat showed up," Remus says, with unusual perspicacity. He leans closer, his breath redolent of deodorant. Deceit mentally swears to himself that he will make Remus brush his teeth- with toothpaste!- before letting him kiss him. "So what's this really about?"

"They want a villain," Deceit says, as bluntly as he dares. "Why not play the part?"

"Because you're desperately lonely and wish they would accept you, even if the chances are higher that they would welcome in a diseased pigeon?" Remus says.

"You're being a little too honest right about now," Deceit says hastily. "That's besides the point. It won't happen, so why bother going after a wasted daydream?" He hitches up one shoulder. "Besides, this way, _you_ get to have some fun. You want some fun, don't you?"

"You're manipulating me," Remus says. His face splits into a grin. "But I don't care. Of course I wanna have some fun. What do I have to do?"

Deceit beckons him closer, whispering into his ear.

If the Light Sides want a villain so badly, that's exactly what they're going to get.

And perhaps in the process, Deceit can lie hard enough to himself that it's not going to hurt.


	2. Chapter 2

_Say it, spit it out, what is it exactly_   
_You're payin'? Is the amount cleanin' you out, am I satisfactory?_   
_Today, I'm thinkin' about the things that are deadly_   
_The way I'm drinkin' you down_   
_Like I wanna drown, like I wanna end me_

_Not again, not again, not again._

Deceit paces back and forth, staring at the ceiling above him as if it can somehow burn a hole through it and immolate Logan on the spot. Of course. He should have known better. Remus has gotten in a few good licks (namely bouncing his mace off his brother's head), but Logan is slowly but surely puncturing his existence with blasted, bloody _logic_. Deceit hisses at the ceiling.

He thought it would work. Remus is the gateway through which intrusive thoughts flow. Normally, Remus does his best not to let them slip past, into Thomas's mind, but Deceit told him hey, why not let Thomas spend a sleepless night or two? Morality's and Virgil's reactions have made it all the sweeter.

He knows it's not entirely within his function (in fact, he thinks it falls rather outside of it), but in the long run, he's _tired_ of hiding the others from Thomas. He's tired of being the Scooby Doo villain, the side who 'constantly disguises himself like a member of Team Rocket.' He only disguised himself in an attempt to _help_ Thomas, however misguided it might have been, but it isn't like the others would ever listen to or care about his reasoning. Why would they?

Deceit flings himself down on the sofa, still scowling at the ceiling. It causes an unreasonable pang of hurt when Remus says "you know who could help us with that" and he hears Thomas's panicked refusal.

"One of you is enough!"

It's almost enough to make him want to duck out. He thinks that perhaps he _would_, if not for the effect it would have on Remus. But he can't do that to Remus. Underneath his brash, perverted exterior, Remus is desperately insecure. He _needs_ his Dee Dee, and Deceit needs him right back.

But it still hurts. He can't make believe it doesn't. He's never been good at lying to _himself_, after all.

Remus arrives later, flushed with triumph. 

"I saw him!" He announces, as soon as he spies Deceit.

"Who?" Deceit asks, although he thinks he already knows. Remus rolls his eyes, almost comically so.

"My _brother_, Dee Dee, my brother!" He says, bouncing on the balls of his feet. His mace is slung over one shoulder. "I went boink! And down he went!"

"And how was the rest of it?" Deceit asks, as if he doesn't already know. Remus's face falls a little.

"Lo Lo is an asshole," he says. "I wanna stab him in the chin and twist off his nipples and-"

"All right, I get it," Deceit interrupts, before Remus can get too far into the litany of torture. "It's to be expected, isn't it? He _is_ the embodiment of Logic, after all."

"Logic can suck my dick," Remus grumbles.

"No, darling, that's my job," Deceit says, before his brain can catch up to what he just said. He goes absolutely scarlet while Remus throws his head back and _cackles_ with delighted laughter.

"Oh shush, you," Deceit says, flustered. "You know what I mean." Remus tries to look lascivious.

"I _do_," he begins, just as Deceit catches the last little tidbit of the conversation upstairs. His eyes widen.

"What is it, Dee Dee?" Remus asks. "Did you-"

"Virgil," Deceit says. "He just told Thomas that he used to be one of us."

"Wasn't that obvious?" Remus asks, perplexed.

"Apparently not," Deceit says, internally wincing at the way he can _feel_ Thomas flinch. As if Virgil's suddenly turned into a different person. As if it wasn't entirely obvious that of _course_ he used to be a Dark Side, where the hell else would he have come from? Remus's ass? (He blames Remus's proximity for that terrible mental picture.)

"I have a feeling that sooner or later, we're going to have some company," Deceit murmurs, sitting on the couch and dragging Remus down with him. The mace disappears in a shower of sparkles. "The question is, which one?"

"I hope it's my brother," Remus says eagerly. "So I can bop him again."

"I doubt it will be him," Deceit says, although privately, he can't help but wonder if it might be a good idea for the twins to spend time together regardless. He knows Remus has, for some god forsaken reason, missed his brother.

A loud, impatient knock sounds on the door. Deceit stretches.

"Showtime," he says.


	3. Chapter 3

_Your talk'll be somethin' that shouldn't be said out loud_   
_Honestly, I thought that I would be dead by now (Wow)_   
_Calling security, keepin' my head held down_   
_Bury the hatchet or bury your friend right now_

Patton stands on the other side of the door, face flushed.

"Yes?" Deceit drawls, lounging against the doorway. "Is there something you wanted?"

"Is this what you meant?" Patton demands. "There are other ways of getting what you want? You sent _him_?" Patton looks over Deceit's shoulder at Remus, who is currently attempting a handstand. 

"Thomas wishes to practice honesty, does he not?" Deceit asks, with an air of boredom. "You can't get more honest than Remus."

"Well, it didn't work, you know," Patton says. "Logan saw to that." He gives a short, satisfied nod.

And Deceit sees red.

"And what, pray tell, didn't work?" He asks, showing far too many teeth. "My dastardly, nefarious deeds? You wanted me to be the villain, did you not? I'm only _playing the part_. _You_ don't want me around. _Thomas_ wants to be an honest person. I help _facilitate_ that and oh, wait! I'm the bad guy! _Again_."

"You-" Patton falters. "You couldn't possibly have good intentions, sending Remus," he says, and his voice is wobbly. Deceit didn't, but he has no intention of telling Patton that.

"Just go," he says, suddenly tired. "Go back to your precious _famILY_, Patton. The Dark Side is no place for someone like _you_."

Hesitating, his eyes suddenly full of something that Deceit doesn't want to examine too closely, Patton leaves.

"I thought he'd never leave!" Remus exclaims. "Look, I figured it out." He pops his head off with a sickening squelch, setting it on the floor next to him. "Ta da!"

"Remus, put your head back on," Deceit says, filing that under 'things I never would have said, until I met Remus.' "Besides, that's cheating and you know it."

"Nothing wrong with cheating," Remus says, sulky, but he does plop his head back on, so Deceit counts that as a win. He's just glad that Remus waited until Patton left, or Morality would have screamed the place down. And then the others would, of _course_, come to his rescue. How messy.

He drops to the couch and sighs. He feels no better after Patton's visit, full of petty accusations and snide remarks. What a surprise.

The door slams back on its hinges suddenly, and Virgil stalks in, bristling, full of prickly energy like the storm cloud Deceit had often fondly accused him of being.

"What did you say to Patton?" He demands.

"Why yes, Virgil, of course you can come in, how nice to see you," Deceit says.

"Tell me," Virgil insists.

"Naturally," Deceit sneers. "I told him that sending Remus to meet Thomas was all part of my nefarious plot and to go back to his famILY. Why don't you ask _him_?"

"I tried," Virgil says, and he looks uncomfortable. "Besides, I have a bone to pick with _you_ anyway."

"And what might that be?" Deceit asks mildly, folding his gloved hands in his lap.

"You-" Virgil sputters. "You _know_, it's _your_ fault that I told- I told Thomas that-" He looks away, his face red. "That I used to be one of _you_."

"Oh, was it?" Deceit asks, looking interested. "I wasn't aware that I was up there, puppeteering you to say whatever I wanted you to say."

"You know what I mean!" Virgil blurts out. "All your little remarks about it, especially during that farce of a trial-"

"Oh, I had no intention of revealing anything to Thomas," Deceit says. Virgil stares at him, mouth working. "I _did_, however, think it was about time you were honest with _yourself_.

"Now, would you shut the door behind you?" He continues. "We seem to be getting an infestation of Light Sides."

Flushed like a hot coal, Virgil storms out, slamming the door behind him.

"Well, that _certainly_ could have gone _worse_," Deceit says. His head throbs.

"Don't worry, Dee Dee," Remus says, sitting next to him. "It'll be okay."

"I wish I believed you," Deceit says.


	4. Chapter 4

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> surprise! it's not from deceit's pov!
> 
> ...i'm surprised too tbf

_Step on the glass, staple your tongue (ahh)_   
_Bury a friend, try to wake up (ah ahh)_   
_Cannibal class, killing the son (ahh)_   
_Bury a friend, I wanna end me_

He waits until Deceit has fallen asleep, slumped against the arm of the sofa, before he moves, carefully standing up and pulling one of the warmest blankets they own over the slumbering part-snake. It's hard to be quiet, but he manages, anyway, slipping out the door that marks the demarcation between Light and Dark with stealthy, quick steps.

He doesn't know what he's going to say when he gets there. What he's going to _do_. He knows Dee would stop him if he knew and that's precisely why Dee _doesn't_ know. Because Remus is _tired_ of the others treating Deceit like dog shit, when all he's ever wanted was to be useful, all he's ever tried to do is help Thomas. Remus- yeah, Remus would cheerfully admit any day of the week that his is a special _brand_ of helpful, and that Thomas probably doesn't want to think about it too hard, doesn't want to think about hairless zombie mice or headless babies or falling off tall buildings and splattering all over the ground like a hamburger driven over by a semi truck.

But Dee isn't _like_ Remus. Dee tries to genuinely _help_ Thomas _and_ the others, has to deal with all their lying _bullshit_ day in and day out, and how do they repay him? With sneers and ostracization and constant pick pick picking at all of Dee's insecurities. As if there's something to be ashamed of, having a snake face! Remus thinks it's utterly _wicked_, and sometimes (although he attempts it only in the privacy of his side of the Imagination), he gives _himself_ scales, brilliant green purple ones that shine in the sunlight, and he thinks of sharing them with Dee Dee, and the looks on the others' faces if they _both_ showed up with scales.

"I have a _boner_ to pick with you," Remus announces to the first person he sees. Logan looks up with mild curiosity, slipping a bookmark into the tome he's reading.

"And what might that be?" Logan asks.

"Not here," Remus says, suddenly aware that anyone might come by and interrupt them. Or more particularly, _Virgil_ might and Remus thinks that if he sees Virgil right now, he can't control what he does, and that's not what he wants. That won't be helpful to Deceit.

Besides, Logan's probably the closest thing to an advocate Dee Dee's _got_ in this wretched place.

"My room?" Logan suggests. Remus nods, jittering with nervous energy as Logan leads him up the stairs and down the hallway. Light streams thin and watery under Patton's door, but they avoid it.

"Is this about Deceit or about earlier?" Logan asks, once he has closed the door behind Remus and settled at his desk. Remus's eyes widen. "Those are the only two reasons I can think of that you would seek me out," Logan clarifies.

"Dee Dee," Remus says, slumping against Logan's bed and picking at his fingernails. "I don't give a shit about the video. I was gonna ease up on Thomas soon, anyway."

"So it was planned," Logan says, eyes sharpening.

"Oh come off it, teach, do you know how hard it is to keep it from him?" Remus demands. "Do you think it's _easy_, being the harbinger of intrusive thoughts? I get them myself, you know. Only I guess I'm like Jeffrey Dahmer." He grins, eyes empty. "It doesn't bother me anymore."

"Falsehood," Logan says quietly, and Remus drops his gaze.

"Why do you all hate Deceit so much?" Remus asks bluntly, getting to the crux of it. "Do you even know what it's doing to him? Or _do_ you all know, and you just don't _care_?" Logan's eyes widen infinitesimally behind his glasses.

"I don't hate Deceit," he says. "He performs a very necessary function for Thomas."

"Really?" Remus laughs, and the sound is jagged, like splinters of broken glass stabbing his fingers. "Could have fooled me. Y'all sure do listen to him and treat his point of view like it's _important_."

"I agree that he has a viewpoint worth considering," Logan says carefully.

"That's why every time you see him, you scream DECEIT at the top of your lungs?" Remus asks, his voice thick with scorn. Logan looks away, his cheeks flushed. "Do you want him to duck out? Is that it? Because I think I'm the only reason he hasn't and sooner or later..." He stops, his voice wobbling. 

"Sooner or later, I'm not going to be enough," Remus finishes. "Only unlike Virgey Wirgey, I think I'm the only one who gives a damn enough to stop him." His cheeks sting and he reaches up with wondering fingers to discover tears sliding down his face.

"Is it true?"

Remus whirls, to see a very red-eyed Patton standing in the doorway.

"Have you ever heard of knocking?" He sneers. Patton winces at that, but stands firm.

"Is it true?" Patton repeats. "That he- that Deceit thinks that we don't care? That he's going to- that he wants to duck out?" Remus looks between Logan's perturbed face and Patton's pinched expression and feels suddenly, thoroughly tired.

"Why don't you ask him yourself?" Remus says. "If you give enough of a shit."

And with that, he sinks out, back to the place he belongs.

Deceit's side.


	5. Chapter 5

_For the debt I owe, gotta sell my soul_   
_'Cause I can't say no, no, I can't say no_   
_Then my limbs all froze and my eyes won't close_   
_And I can't say no, I can't say no_   
_Careful_

Deceit is woken the next morning by a delicate knock on his door. At some point, Remus moved him to his bed last night. He remembers that much, though he remembers precious little else. Patton's visit, of course. Virgil's snarl. Proof, as always, that he is unwanted. That if they could, they would rid themselves of his presence, like shaking off so much dust.

The knock repeats, and he frowns. It's not Remus. Remus virtually smashes down the door when he knocks. But he can't fathom who else would be knocking on his door. Who else would care. Has Logan or Roman come to chastise him for yesterday's fiasco as well? If so, he's decidedly not in.

"Deceit?" A familiar voice calls hesitantly and he freezes. Why is _Patton_ out there? "I um, I made you something, I'll just leave it out here, okay?" He hears the slight clink of what sounds like a plate being set down on the floor, then footsteps moving away.

_It's a trap,_ his mind insists, even as he sits up, swinging his legs to put first one foot on the floor, then another. _Don't be so fucking stupid, it's a trap, and you know it is. Why would Patton make anything for _you_?_

But he can no more prevent himself from opening the door than he can rid himself of his snake scales. He looks down and his eyes widen. There, sitting on the floor on a yellow plate, is a handful of homemade chocolate chip cookies, wrapped in plastic and tied with baby blue ribbon. There's a card attached, too, and the name on the front is his own.

_What is this?_

He picks it up and carries it back in his room, sitting at the desk and stealthily slipping free a cookie. If it's poisoned, then so be it. Chocolate explodes on his tongue and he melts a little in delight. Patton's always been good at baking.

He doesn't let himself look at the card until he's finished his cookie. Wouldn't want it to ruin his appetite after all, would he? It's written in Patton's cutesy script that's just a little too big, sprawling across the page.

_Dear Deceit,_

_I just wanted to tell you something. A few things, really. It shames me that I needed to be told this, because I should have known already. Shutting people out isn't good, and I know it isn't, but sometimes old habits are hard to break. It isn't an excuse, and I know it isn't._

_I know that you and I butt heads an awful lot, but you are important for Thomas and his well-being, as much as I don't like admitting it. The others and I haven't done a very good job of showing it, but we do appreciate you and the work you do. Keep being yourself._

_Sincerely,_

_Patton_

The note is accompanied, at the end, with a little drawing of a bee.

For a moment- one blissful moment- warmth fills him, blooming in his heart and filling him down to his toes. Then he looks down at the card and his fingers clench, crumpling it.

_It shames me that I needed to be told this..._

"Oh, Remus," Deceit whispers. "What did you _do_?"

This isn't at all what he wanted. What he hoped for. They don't care about him. They feel _guilty_. That's all. Remus sent them on a little guilt trip, and now they feel like they have to make amends. With some fucking _cookies_, of all things, like that will fix everything. It's not even all of them! Just Patton!

"This changes nothing," Deceit hisses, glaring at the traitorous plate and fighting down the urge to smash the wretched thing. The yellow color, formerly a sign of hope, seems to burn his eyes.

"They don't want me," he says aloud. "Very well. Perhaps they'll get what they want, after all."

The card drops from lax fingers, see-sawing lazily to the floor.


	6. Chapter 6

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> i added the 'you' in parentheses because "i wanna end you" is how creature feature covered it
> 
> and also surprise, remus is back

_I wanna end me (you)_   
_I wanna, I wanna, I wanna end me (you)_   
_I wanna, I wanna, I wanna_

Deceit's door is ajar. Remus slows as he passes it, frowning as he tries to peek past the edge into the room beyond. There are a few home truths that structure Remus's world. His brother can't stand him. Thomas can't handle him. He would die for Dee Dee, and the reverse is true. And Deceit's door is always closed.

It's not that he's a recluse. He just works better when his door is shut, keeping out all the noise from the rest of the mind palace. For his door to be open like this- just a crack-

Remus's frown deepens. He walks up to the door, gently pushing it open and peering inside.

He hopes to see Deceit. Maybe still asleep, hair a fluffy cloud spread across the pillows. Or maybe up and talking to his pet snake. Maybe working too hard, and he'll hiss at Remus for the interruption, like a cobra ready to pounce. Remus has always wondered what it would be like to be jumped by a cobra and pumped full of venom. Maybe he'll try it out one day in the Imagination.

A plate on the desk catches his attention. Plastic wrap has been neatly plucked away, and chocolate chip cookies sit innocuous on the yellow center. A pale blue ribbon is curled up beside it. His foot crunches on something and Remus looks down, to see a card. It's addressed to Dee, but he feels no qualms picking it up and reading it anyway.

_Dear Deceit..._

Anger roars to life the farther he reads, hot and boiling in his stomach, like he can set himself on fire. Like he _wants_ to set himself on fire or throw himself into the depths of the deepest lake, trying desperately to quench the burning rage festering inside like a rotting wound.

_This_ is _not_ what he meant, when he told the others to get it together. This- this is _pathetic_. It reads like nothing more than a weak sop for Patton's guilty conscience and for all that Remus can tell, it _is_. The others couldn't even be bothered to _sign_ the fucking thing!

"Oh no, no, no," he whispers. Panic flares, flickering along the edges of the fires of anger. Where _is_ Dee Dee? This- this is enough to push him over the edge, he _knows_ it is, he can't feel Dee Dee's light wink out yet, but that doesn't mean it won't happen, that it's not about to happen-

"Remus?" Deceit asks, in a voice irritated and concerned by turns. "What is it?"

Remus whirls, and his concern mounts higher, because Deceit _never_ goes without his hat and cape and gloves, it's his aesthetic, and yet right now, he's clad in only his pants and shirt, and said shirt is rolled up to the elbows, revealing scattered scales.

"Dee Dee?" Remus asks in a tiny, wounded voice. "What are you doing?"

"Nothing, of course," Deceit says. His smile doesn't reach his eyes. "Why are you in my room?"

"The door was open," Remus answers. "Why- what's this?" He gestures to the card, still crumpled in one hand. Dee's mouth tightens.

"Of course you read it," Deceit says, with a sigh. "I appreciate you looking out for me, Remus, but as you can see, it was a pointless venture."

"But it's _not_," Remus argues. "They-"

"-still can't stand me and are using your visit- I presume you visited?- as the ghost of Christmas Past, so to speak," Deceit says. "This-" He gestures scornfully toward the cookies still on the desk. "-is nothing more than Patton's way of trying to ease his feelings of guilt. I'm sorry, but I'm not buying it." He smiles, and his teeth glint very sharp.

"What were you about to do?" Remus asks bluntly. He fancies that Deceit winces a little before answering.

"Me?" Deceit says. His voice is calm, placid even. "I was about to take a bath. If you'll excuse me..." He half turns away, then comes back toward Remus, pressing a tiny kiss to the curve of Remus's jaw. "I've always loved you," he murmurs. "You know that, don't you?"

"Of course I do, Dee Dee," Remus answers, confused. "I love you, too. Why-"

But Deceit has already stepped back, his face a mask once more.

"See you soon, Remus," he says, then disappears back into the bathroom. Remus hears the quiet clink of the door being locked.

It is only then that Remus remembers how easy it is for Deceit, in the comfort of his own room, to lie.

"Dee Dee!" He howls, scrambling for the door and kicking at it. He hears the sound of the bath being drawn, water filling the tub. He pictures Dee lowering himself into it, Dee lying at the bottom of the tub as the water moves, ceaseless and uncaring, over his blue face. "Dee Dee, open the damn door!"

Not a peep. And Remus's dread intensifies because he _knows_ if Dee was actually okay, he would have opened the door by now. He would have wanted to know what was wrong.

Nothing.

Remus whirls and dashes for the Light Sides commons, his boots eating up the distance with a speed that surprises even him. He hammers on the wall of the living room with a clenched fist, not caring when his knuckles dent the plaster.

"Remus?" It's Patton, and it couldn't be a worst person to come in first, because Remus has to step back behind the couch and breathe through his nose to avoid doing anything he might regret, like put his fingers around Patton's neck and squeeze and squeeze and squeeze, squeeze until his face is as blue as Dee Dee's might be even as he waits and does _nothing_ because he hates to admit it, but he _needs_ the others-

"Remus, what is it?" Patton insists.

"Don't come closer!" Remus barks at him. Patton freezes mid-step, hurt and confusion warring for space on his features. "What the fuck did you _do_?" He demands. "I told you to _help_ him, not- not- is this what you _wanted_? Your plan all along-" He can't continue, the lump in his throat is too big.

"Hey!" Virgil stomps downstairs. "Don't talk to him like that-"

"Shut up, emo disaster, or I will _shut_ you up," Remus threatens, his mace coming into being with nothing but a thought. "It wouldn't surprise me if you're _in_ on it, you, you-"

"What are _you_ doing down here?" Roman asks. Remus's lips peel back in a frozen snarl at his stupid brother's face and his stupid brother's sash, as red as the blood that might be streaming from Deceit's wrists like streamers, and-

"I knocked you before, I can do it again," Remus says, raising his morning star in one surprisingly elegant gesture-

"Remus."

Logan's calm voice knocks all the wind out of his proverbial sails and Remus bursts into tears.

"Remus, what is it?" Logan asks. Despite the morning star, he walks closer, until he's just on the other side of the sofa.

"Dee Dee," Remus says, trying to get the words out past the ugly sobs choking his throat. "It's Dee Dee, he- He's-"

"What?" Logan asks, his voice quiet. "What is he doing, Remus?"

"I think he's trying to kill himself," Remus blurts out. "_Please_, he- he got a card this morning from Patton and all it did was- it made everything worse, he went so calm but he locked himself in the bathroom and he _never_ does that, please, you have to help him-"

For a moment, he thinks the others still don't care. That they'll sniff and say 'good riddance' or hope that he follows in Dee Dee's footsteps or claim it's just some sort of manipulation on Dee's part.

Then Logan nods firmly, eyes burning.

"Patton, Virgil, get the first aid kit and plenty of warm blankets," he says. "Roman, come with me and Remus. We'll need more strength."

Despite himself, Remus feels his heart brighten as they sink down, guided by him to land safely in the Dark Sides living room.

"It looks terrible in here," Roman comments, looking around.

"Yeah, well, you weren't asked to give your opinion, were you?" Remus asks, his smile all teeth. Roman wisely shuts up. Remus leads them to the bathroom. The door is still locked, he discovers when he jiggles the door knob. He can still hear the water running.

"Dee?" He calls through the door, giving it one last try. "Dee Dee, I brought Logan and Roman, we're breaking the door down if you don't open it right now."

"Don't worry," comes Deceit's thready voice through the door. It sounds like it's a strain for him to speak. "It will be fine soon...all over soon..." His voice slurs, and Remus's panic spikes. When he looks his brother's way, he can see the concern on Roman's face.

"Right," Roman says, surprisingly serious. "Let's get this door down."

They hit it together, at a count of three. It takes three times for the door to clatter open, bouncing back on its hinges. Deceit looks up, dull-eyed, from the water, and it's only then that Remus realizes he's drawn himself a freezing bath. 

"Oh, Dee Dee, no," he says, and he lifts a naked Dee out of the bathtub, dripping icy water.

"He needs to be warmed up," Logan says. "Ro, empty the bathtub and re-fill it with warm water, not hot. If we heat him back up too quickly, it could be a shock."

As Roman bustles around him and Patton and Virgil finally arrive with Logan's requested items, Deceit looks up at Remus, face dozy with confusion.

"Why?" He slurs.

"Because I love you, you idiot," Remus says, and bursts into tears.


	7. Chapter 7

_What do you want from me? Why don't you run from me?_   
_What are you wondering? What do you know?_   
_Why aren't you scared of me? Why do you care for me?_   
_When we all fall asleep, where do we go?_

He wakes to someone carding their fingers through his hair and humming a tuneless lullaby. He is warm, surprisingly so.

"What?" He tries to say, but the word doesn't want to come, forced through his protesting throat. The noise is enough for the lullaby to stop, though. It pains him that he misses it.

"Dee Dee!" Remus exclaims. "You're awake!"

"Yes," he croaks. "How did-"

"Roman and I knocked the door down," Remus explains. "And Logan helped. I- I nearly lost you, Dee Dee, _please_ don't do that again." The anguish in his voice freezes Deceit inside, like a splinter of melting ice down his spine.

"I'm sorry, Remus," Deceit mumbles. "I just-"

"_I'm_ sorry," a new voice interrupts. Deceit looks up to see Patton- to see _all_ of them- clustered around his bed. "I didn't at all say what I really meant to say in that card, Deceit, and I am so sorry that my words led you to- to-" Patton chokes up, and Deceit can see tears shimmer in his eyes.

"What did you mean to say then?" Deceit challenges. He feels tired still. So tired, but Remus is a bulwark of warmth at his back, and his fingers still rest in the soft down of Deceit's hair.

"That Remus was right when he chastised us," Patton says quietly. "You're a valuable part of this team, both of you are, and we- _I_ especially- have treated you awfully. You raise good points, Deceit. The callback? You were right. Thomas _did_ want to go to the callback and maybe- maybe we should have explored that avenue more, instead of automatically treating the wedding as highest priority."

Deceit's mouth drops open.

"Logan helped with that," Patton continues. Well, that explains that, Deceit thinks. "After the trial, I mean."

"I figured," Deceit says dryly, and Patton flushes.

"What I meant to say in that card is that I'm sorry," Patton says. "I'm sorry for how I've treated you in the past and I wanted to pledge to you that I will treat you better. The way you always deserved to be treated. Both of you. You're both part of this famILY...if you want to be."

"I apologize if I have ever given either of you the impression that I dislike you," Logan says, stepping up. He nervously adjusts his tie and clears his throat. "You are both important to how Thomas functions."

"Could have fooled me," Remus mumbles.

"Thomas needs full access to _all_ of his Creativity sometimes," Logan says. "That means your presence is necessary at the table, Remus."

"Lo is right," Roman says. "I have acted...very unlike a prince. I apologize." He bows low. "Can you forgive me...brother?"

"Probably," Remus says. "But I still reserve the right to hit you over the head with a mace."

"I would expect no less," Roman says, groaning. Deceit's eyes turn curiously to Virgil, who looks like he's trying to disappear into his hoodie.

"Virgil?" He asks, keeping his voice gentle. Virgil jumps.

"Sorry," he mumbles. "I- 'm sorry. I hated it when people treated me like the bad guy, then I turned around and did the same to you, Deceit. It- it wasn't fair of me and I treated you both like shit. And...I'm sorry."

"It's nice to hear you all say this," Deceit admits. "But-"

"Actions speak louder than words," Patton says. "I want to prove it to you, Deceit. If you'll let me." The others chorus agreement, and Deceit feels a new blossom of warmth spread through his chest, one that has nothing to do with the blankets he's swaddled in.

"Then sure," he says. "I would- I would like to be part of your famILY."

Remus squeezes him tight, bending down to whisper in his ear.

"Don't you ever do that again or I'll rip off your nipples and shove them in your eye sockets."

"I promise," Deceit murmurs. "And I love you, too, Remus."

"True love is a ripped off nipple," Remus muses happily.

"...It really isn't, Remus. Ever."


End file.
